Whiteparish II, 31 August 2024

 

The last game of the season always comes around faster than you think it will, but as we didn’t start till late May because spring was under water, and we haven’t really had much of a summer, it seems to have happened faster than ever this year.

Henry’s final toss decision as he takes his captaincy bow was to bowl, largely driven by the wish to be able to get the coals lit while we were batting, for a pleasant little end of season barby. But it certainly looked like a bowling day.

True to form this summer delivered perfect barbecue weather: chilly, overcast and windy, with the odd patch of drizzle.

We bowled for the most part what you might call fine but unthreatening. Robert with his now customary thrift, Tappers with good control and some lift, off what was one of the deader surfaces Damerham can provide. Smithers bowled with a precise economy, four of his eight in maidens to a 7-2 field, but it didn’t swing and no one looked particularly threatening. Ryan got a couple of wickets, one off a long hop producing a stunning catch from Pards, running backwards over his shoulder. H also bowled without threat, and I bowled some rancid filth. The game drifted and began to feel like a slog, until Tappers woke it up with two wickets in two balls in the last over.

Chasing 206 certainly didn’t seem insurmountable, and it proved a nice tight game. Six down with six overs left and Henry still in needing eight an over, it was anyone’s. It was theirs though, and the final few wickets went in a rapid clatter. 

The highlight of the chase was undoubtedly Nick’s fluent and positive 80, his best knock for Damerham which he looked certain to convert into a ton until he popped one back to the bowler off the bottom of a widening split on the tow of his bat. He will at least have the consolation of a brand new bat for next year.

There were a couple of moments of controversy. A catch that Robert thought was good and the two fielders next to him were convinced was clean, but the batsman was indignantly convinced was not, and then one of their bats got what we were all firmly convinced was a very healthy edge behind, that he didn’t walk for an their umpire didn’t give. But these moments passed without malice and did not spoil a really good tight game played in good spirits, a fine end to any season.

Many thanks to Pards for organising the barby, Tappers for manning the fire tools, Angus and Alice for fiercely clearing up, and Smithers for making the second best slaw.

So that’s it, the 2024 league season is over. All that lies between us and next season is seven months of cricket bags mouldering in lofts and garages. But no, what’s that hoving into view in a fortnight? Could it be could it possibly be? Yes it is! The DCC tour to Hastings is almost upon us. Let’s hope it doesn’t smash down with rain, eh.

Full PlayCricket scorecard here

Written by Si

Collingbourne II, 17 August 2024

 

Collingbourne is the other far-away ground we’ll perhaps be sorry that the league restructure will keep us from next year. They’re a welcoming bunch lead by the very friendly but fiercely competitive Baz.

Another lost toss saw us bowl first, which we did pretty well overall, difficult to keep the runs down on a flat deck with a short straight boundary. We were joined by a young teammate of Robert’s, Gene, a young cricketer who shows similar promise, who stepped in last minute after a late drop out.

Our chase got off to a shaky start, continued badly and finished poorly. There’s really not much positive I can find to say about a batting performance that didn’t even get halfway on a deck that seemed to have plenty of runs in it. So I won’t dwell on it and maybe soon we’ll score some runs.

Let’s concentrate instead on the reinvention of Pards: The Bowler. We needed bowlers, and we have found one from within. His first league wicket came at Hursley on the first of June. His first league 5-fer came just 11 weeks later. What a transformation that is.

On the field it instantly, and perhaps a little unfairly, earned the title ‘the filthiest 5-fer you’ll ever see’. The first three wickets were perfectly respectable. A good ball inducing a regulation edge to gully. A self-confessedly borderline but perfectly acceptable LBW. A skewed drive producing a spectacular diving catch at point from Courtney. These were all good. And there were, as ever, plenty more good balls that went by without incident.

What produced the monicker of ‘the filthiest 5-fer ever’ on the field were wickets four and five, which both came from filthy long hops, doubtless the worst balls in the spell. The fifth was pretty filthy. A dragged down long hop that the batsman wound up to wallop a mile over cow corner, and succeeded only in top edging it into orbit, spinning furiously as it achieved re-entry towards gully. 

The fourth was a village miracle. It is only competing as the most village moment of the year with Smithers being wheelbarrowed into a hedge full of brambles to retrieve yet another six. This time the batsman elected to slog sweep his filthy long hop, stretching well forward with his back leg almost flat along the ground. An athletic looking shot, which unfortunately for him he missed. It would have been a no ball, the ball bouncing twice before the crease, had its second landing not been intercepted by his own prone back leg, lying bang in front: LBW. Pards was apologising profusely to the poor batsman as he hauled himself upright, but he appeared in no mood to accept the apology at the time.

It was nevertheless a tremendous 5-fer, which are hard won in any cricket, let alone league, but it is destined to be remembered, by me at least, for that instantly hilarious and quite marvellously dismal dismissal. 

Full PlayCricket scorecard here

Written by Si

Breamore Dravidians II, 10 August 2024

 

I cannot express forcefully enough what an absolute joy it is to have bowling options. The luxury of having an attack to shuffle. To have actual choices – bit of pace-off here; bowl some spin; bring the seamers back; try for an edge; bowl yorkers – to genuinely decide, rather than have to scramble about wondering which reluctant non-bowlers you’re gonna have to press-gang into finding another 10 overs. I wanted bowlers, I got them. Seven genuine options today.

Breamore Dravidians IIs proved to be too good for us. But that’s fine. Can’t mind that too much. They’re a good side, and a nice bunch.

They were 100-0 at drinks. If luck had gone our way they could easily have been three or four down. We bowled really well. Rob and Robert opened with good control. Smithers and Hakey (Smithers and Hakey as change bowlers! Imagine!) created some chances but they didn’t happen. Connor bowled the best he has for DCC, me and Jon got some pace-off wickets, and then they put the afterburners on and ramped up the scoring. Their number five smashed 70 in no time, including a massive six into Bryant’s field on the other side of the road off a Smithers slower ball that didn’t quite work out like the Harmison-to-Clarke doozy he’d envisaged.

I said to Nick and Chris if we were 40-0 at drinks that would be fine; make them work for it. They delivered hansomely, and we were 62-0 at drinks. We were never really in the chase, they were a very competent bowling unit with even more options (all but the keeper bowled) and we were out played, but not embarrassed. 

The game played out in ridiculously good spirits. Smithers accurately summed it up as the most polite game of league cricket we’ve ever been involved in. Despite an on-paper thumping, it was a highly enjoyable afternoon.

Full PlayCricket scorecard here

Amport II, 3 August 2024

 

On Wednesday I was ready to concede this game, having asked pretty much everyone we’ve ever met and managed a meagre 7. It would have been our first ever -20. A junked friendly and a shifted holiday meant we ended up with 10 and a half, and the ignominy of a conceded game was averted. Probably the closest we’ve come.

Amport is a really lovely cricket ground. Gifted to the club by the local farmer, a wonderfully remote cricket-only field surrounded by trees and arable fields, with the enormous rambling old estate manor house in the distance, it’s the only one of the far-flung games we’ll miss when the league rearranges itself to more local fixtures next season.

They were a strong seconds team today, with a young quick from the firsts with some proper wheels, who did for our openers in short order. We did not bat well, and generally got out carelessly to an otherwise entirely manageable attack.

Except for Ryan, who batted with patience, firm defence and some flair in attack, his best innings for DCC. We scrambled to three figures, aided by a fun rearguard from Rob and Tappers.

Those two bowled with purpose, defending nowhere near enough runs with excellent opening spells, one run off the first four overs, followed by decent efforts from all the bowlers, spread around to try and make something happen. They were 65-2 as 20 overs and drinks arrived, the game very much still alive, but it slipped away in another half a dozen overs as the finish line drew nearer and their caution dissolved.

It was a solid bowling performance with some actual options, something we have had precious little of this season, just not enough to bowl at. But a fun game in a beautiful spot, and some joy back in the game after a month of slog and mismatches.

Full PlayCricket scorecard here

St Mary Bourne, 27 July 2024

 

St Mary Bourne went down last year for some misdemeanour that cost them -50 points. Like both the Easts, Anton and Tytherley, though for different reasons, they have no business in this league.

DCC was always a bowling side. Difficult to get a bowl, there were so many. Not these days. We desperately need bowling.

I got carted round the park, which is always fun. The enduring image of this game was Smithers being fed into a hedge by two guys, stretched out straight, arms and legs extended like a pole, to retrieve another six from a non turning length leg break.

Boy do we need bowlers. St Mary Bourne made 229. Robert bowled beautifully for 4-14. He and Smithers (two excellent bowlers) combined for 5-29 off 16. If we had 2 more of them, conceivably St Mary Bourne are all out for 58 and our rather sad chase of 61 sees us win by 3 runs. Fanciful, I know.

But we need bowlers – that isn’t. Know any?

Full PlayCricket scorecard here

Oakmount, 13 July 2024

 

Last few weeks cricket has been hard to love. But I had a big whine last week so this week maybe I’ll just do a match report.

Oakmount were pretty much level with us in the league before this game. We seem pretty similar sides on paper. I’d say we probably are in reality, and on another day we’d have a good even game with them. This was not that day.

We batted first and poorly, most of us getting out in disappointing ways, largely, though not entirely, through lack of patience and application. They had two good openers, but after that very ordinary fare, but by that time the damage was largely done.

The partnership of the day was the final one. Supported by Vic, Ryan showed some flair, wielding the new ‘Wombat’ with freedom, to take the innings to its conclusion, caught on the boundary off the last ball attempting to get us to 3 figures.

Defending 96 is rarely easy, and their big swinging 3 and 4 had license to go nuts, which they duly did. We got an early wicket, but the second wicket had already made 60, and they took some punishing overs off us which put the result beyond doubt in short order.

I don’t wanna jinx it but next game we travel to Redlynch who have yet to win, so perhaps we’ll catch a break there. We could do with one.

Written by Si

Full PlayCricket scorecard here

Sparsholt III, 6 July 2024

I love cricket. I mean I really love it. It’s a big part of my happiness. It centres me, washes away the bullshit. I need it. In the winter I miss it. In the spring I look forward to it. It defines my summer.

But every now and then, it tests my faith in it.

This was a testing game. 

It takes a lot for me to not enjoy a game of cricket. Mostly, there’s something joyful. Even last week, when we were soundly thrashed by a vastly superior side, we fielded fiercely, Court and Ryan took stunning catches, Rob and Howard bowled brilliantly. Outclassed, we gave a decent account of ourselves.

This week was awful.

Because of football, we started at 11. Many games were off. It rained heavily all Friday, and Joel had covered the wicket. Without covers, this game was not happening. When they rolled off, the strip looked green. Clouds and drizzle scudded by. A bowling day, surely? Surely.

Anyone who’s ever played at Damerham knows it is characteristically low and slow, even in great weather. What are the chances of it being a road having been covered for a day and a half of heavy rain? I mean, almost none, right? Well it gave the best impression of a road Damerham could possibly manage. Hard, flat, lifeless. (No shade on Joel – quite the opposite; what a fantastic effort from him. Extraordinary wicket, under any circumstances.) 

It was crazy windy. So windy that you couldn’t hear anyone more than 10 yards downwind. Bowling into wind like that is nasty. Setting a field when you can’t hear anyone is shouting at yourself.

I can’t quite put my finger on what made it such a hateful day. The Wind? The early start? The drizzle? The betrayal of the Damerham Dog? The team with eight youngsters in which 90% (no, 86%, let’s be accurate) of the runs came from the three adults? The Hampshire over 60s captain with the unbeaten ton? The fact that I personally bowled like I had someone else’s arm sewn on? By someone who can’t sew?

They’ve all happened before. Any of them alone I’d just shrug off.

Somehow they combined to contrive the least enjoyable Saturday for many a summer. Hated it. Next week will be better. Can’t fail to be.

Written by Si

Full PlayCricket scorecard here